gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
