If that was your dad, he is hot
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
