Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
