she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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