just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
