i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
