just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
