I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So vagazzling was a success
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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