420 ftw
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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