i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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