Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
