That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
