I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize