There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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