Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
