areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
