Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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