A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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