There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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