he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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