yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
