You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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