this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
