I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
