Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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