are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Blood and glitter go together right?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When are your genitals available?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
