remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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