When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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