we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
