She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
