The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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