My brain says no but my pants say off.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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