who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
