if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dear god my vagina.
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