would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
