Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Randomize
