You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
