We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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