What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
