so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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