she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
