Joe is yelling at the trees again.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
