good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
