I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
