I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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