...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
