They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
