dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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