Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
