areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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