i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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