we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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