"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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