yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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