This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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