You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
