just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
