I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
