you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
