We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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