Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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