Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
