It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
