Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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