apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
