just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize