5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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