so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Someone signed my nipple.
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